Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Barbie, Flames and Underwear... All in One Post.

I just had to post this. While Googling the WWW for Barbie underwear for my girls, I came across this article. In the midst of reading it, you should have seen me rolling on the floor in hysterics... Blading Barbie Sparks Up Hell on Wheels

Gotta love Dave Barry...


Potty Training - The Adventure Begins...Maybe.

So, people have been pushing us to start potty-training the twins. Let me point out that they are 21 months at this moment. They will be 22 months old on February 8th. My original goal was to have them potty-trained by age 2. My sister-in-law bought the girls a potty chair a couple of months before the baby was born when they were still only about 14 months old in an attempt to get them started. Since then, we have introduced them to the potty chair, allowed them to play around it, coerced them to sit on it whenever they want to... etc. They have each successfully pottied on the potty quite a few times. Gabby much more than Belle. As a matter of fact, this morning as hubby put a clean diaper on Gabby just after they woke up, she tried pulling it off and pointed toward the bathroom. I told hubby I thought she was trying to tell him something, so he brought her to the potty-- and viola! She went. So they may or may not be completely ready.

But I have struggled with the concept of being ready myself to deal with potty training two at once. I keep imagining running to the bathroom withone child or another every 5 minutes, taking up ANY free time we manage to carve out of our busy lives. Hubby and I, though excited about the idea of not buying diapers anymore for our twins, may not yet be committed to the idea of working so hard, yet. But then, I think we may be cheating our daughters and ourselves by not letting them get an early start to wearing cool Barbie or Elmo underwear and get them out of those darnned daper-rash causing pieces of paper. So what do we do?

Back to my obsession with Googling. I managed to find a page dedicated to twin parenting called Twinsights.com whose focus for today (not sure if it changes daily or what) was potty training twins. Since I am not famailiar with the site, I am not sure how often the content changes, or if the links will change as the content changes. If not, you can find the article here. Anyway, my point is that I am not nuts for feeling the way I feel-- obviously, many twin parents have the same problems I do with commitment. Sheesh, it sounds like I am talking marriage... I'm only talking underwear here, people.

Oh well. I'm sure I'll keep you up to date on all of the potty happenings at my house as we continue with the saga...

Googling

Okay, I'll admit it: I'm addicted. I am officially a Googlaholic. I am a Google addict. I just found myself staring at my computer screen with the Google search page up, twiddling my thumbs and saying, "okay, what should I Google?" and I was dead serious about it, too. I had no reason to Google anything, other than to float my boat.

So it made me think. What is it about Googling that is so addictive? You pull up an almost entirely blank page. You put in a word or phrase, any one you can think of, and you hit that boring ol' grey button to do a Google search.

And then, the world opens up in front of you.

It doesn't matter what you are looking for, or not looking for, you will find it. Somewhere, somehow. You may end up finding it in arabic, but it's there. 466,000 search results for "black llama". Can you believe it? Obviously, yellow llamas are much less exciting as a Google search for that comes up with only 107,000. And don't even try to be as vague as just Googling llama because there's no way you'll ever be able to sift through 5,140,000 results.

And notice, this noun has turned into an action verb simply by virtue of its popularity. It used to be that you "did a Yahoo search" for llama, or a "Google search". Now, you Googled llama. The other day my husband asked me to Google our state house representative to get some information about it. Gotta love it. No wonder this search giant was the first company to successfully launch its IPO with a dutch auction. Even working in the investment banking industry, it's a suprise to me that it worked out successfully.

So, I gotta go. Gotta go Google.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Super Nanny

Last night I watch ABC's Super Nanny for the first time. Have you ever watched it? That show could make ANY mother look like the worst mother in the world. When that mom got her 2 year old to go to bed after only 35 minutes of trying, I actually cried for her. Can you belive it? I am ashamed to say that I want to apply for Super Nanny to come to my house and help us solve all of our problems and tame my children. But honestly, how can you possibly tame two 22-month-old children and a 6 month old? Impossible!

But, I would love to try some of the stuff. For instance, she used a naughty mat for whenever the kids misbehaved. They misbehave, get one stern warning from mom, misbehave again, then get placed on the naughty mat for one minute per year of age. So my children would sit there for not quite 2 minutes. Then at the end of 2 minutes, the child then would have to apologize. Here's the problem. My kids don't even know how to say I'm sorry, yet, let alone understand when it's appropriate to be said! Don't even mention the fact that my kids would giggle and leave the mat, thinking it was a game!

*sigh*

Oh, and want to read the best part? I just looked into auditioning my family for Super Nanny and read this line: You must not be a candidate for elected public office and, if selected as a participant, will not become a candidate for elected public office until twelve months after the initial broadcast of the last episode in which you appear. What???? WHY?

*sigh*

If ya' fall off the wagon...

... might as well fall hard. And I have. I am currently in the middle of a bag of Reese's Pieces with Peanuts. Who knew they made these?? They're good, but I would much prefer the peanutless variety. For lunch I had a Pizza Hut personal pizza and for breakfast a cinnamon roll. Last night for dinner and snack I had macaroni and cheese, baked beans, and a cinnamon roll. At least I can say that I am an expert non-dieter! HA!

Monday, January 24, 2005

An Accident... or not...

SO I was exploring this site and it's different capabilities, and I accidentally blogged my friend's blog. LOL. So I came on to remove it and I thought, you know, maybe it wasn't an accident at all. God does work in mysterious ways... so I'm leaving it here. Read on, if you want... she's a mother, too, with a little different spin on life than me... so get hooked on my frigged up life just as I am.

2 Weeks Later...

2 weeks... so much for keeping this rant updated on a daily basis. Life took a big ol' bite and I was in it. It chewed me up and I traveled down it's big long neck and spent a couple of weeks in its stomach trying to avoid digestion, or something like it. When I finally gave in and allowed myself to travel through the rest of the system, life up and pooped me out. So here I am.

I know, not a very tasty way to think of things, but it's the best way that I can think of to describe it.

I spent the last 7 days on the South Beach diet. Everyone talks about how easy it is to follow. Don't ever let anyone tell you that it's easy to diet. I don't care WHAT the diet is. The concept is easy. But spend two weeks eating practically nothing but meat and veggies. Man, I have never been to the grocery store so many times in one week-- we went through romaine like it was water. And I may as well grow my own little herb garden for as many of those types of things as you need to have to make the recipies on the diet plan. Hubby is doing the diet with me. I spent an hour every evening getting breakfast, snacks, lunches and dinners ready for the next day. Add that little task into my evening already full enough to not allow me to hit the sheets until after 11 or 12, and I may as well stay up all night. Can you see my eyes rolling? All the way into the back of head from the exhaustion!

Anyway, I spent all week trying to get hubby to stay on the diet. I encouraged him, lectured him about choices, answered his never-ending Q's about what to eat and not to eat... listened to him bitch. So who fell off the diet wagon? me. At 5:43pm on Sunday, January 23, 2005, I ate a Burger King Chicken Whopper with fries and a Dr. Pepper. And I don't drink caffeine-- haven't since about 3 months before my wedding almost 3 years ago. But damn, that Dr. Pepper tasted good! So I expected hubby to decide to fall off with me. Guess what. He wanted his lunch and snacks and breakfast for day 8 made so he could take them to work today. So AFTER I fell into bed at around 12:30am last night, I contemplated how I could justify the roll off the wagon and just why I wasn't feeling any guilt. Pretty sad if you ask me. So here's what I came up with:

  1. My 5 month old, who is still breastfeeding, is not sleeping well, and hasn't really for the last week. It must, therefore, be the change in foods. Therefore, I must return to my regular diet of junk and candy.
  2. I decided to quit the diet to test hubby. It was a good way to test his resolve and make him realize how much he wanted to do it for himself-- not just for me. Therefore, I must eat my regular diet of junk and candy in front of him to strengthen his resolve. HA! Great reason!
  3. I can easily return to the diet in a few months when there is not as much to do, and not so much stress in my life. By then, hubby will be staying home with the kids and will be keeping the house clean and helping out with food prep, so I won't stay up so late having to make food after all the other chores are done. Ignore the fact that there will never be less to do-- only more, and that there won't be less stress. EVER. Oh, and hubby keeping the house clean? Hmmm, and did I forget that I will be home alone at night with all three munchkids? And I was gonna make that food when?

But no matter what, I am sticking to my story...er... reasons. I mean, the baby has been sleeping so horribly that I am so incredibly tired that I don't know what to do with myself. So maybe one of my reasons will prove to have some foundation. Maybe.

Have I mentioned that hubby is running for public office in 2006? No? Well, now you know. Not like we don't have enough going on and enough stress and stuff in our lives. Now add to it the grueling schedule of running for public office. As a family. Oh, and did I mention that I am the capaign's treasurer? No? Well, now you know. I sign all the campaign's checks. And keep the reports. And file all necessary paperwork so that we don't get thrown in jail for incorrect public accounting practices or something like that. Oh, and did I mention that in addition to that, hubby has me doing pretty much everything else for his campaign? No? Well, now you know. So I am in charge of making his letterhead, volunteer sign up sheets, being his speech coach, editing speeches, etc. Oh, and did I mention that I will have to be the perfect candidate's wife and somehow control our children and make them look like angels whenever we are in the public's eye? No? Well, now you know. I just have one thing to say about that. I'm going to be the perfectly fat candidate's wife. And if anyone has a problem with that, I will go through all of my reasons for them one more time...

So yesterday, I determined that I am not the perfect mother that I always thought that I would be. You know how before you have kids, you are always saying things like, "My kids are never gonna be like that. they'll be well behaved and I will instill discipline into them" and "I can't believe how that mother talks to her children. You'll never catch me yelling at my kids in a store and pleading with them to behave" and "my kids will never be so dirty-- I'll always keep them clean, especially in public". Ummm, yeah. So last night, after thinking about how to justify my lack of guilt on quitting the diet, I thought about my mothering skills. See, yesterday all three of my kids were screaming crying at the top of their lungs because the twins did not want to leave their grandparent's and the baby was screaming for whatever reason she might have (I swear it's that damned diet!) and we were trying to get their coats and shoes on so we could get out of there. I started getting crabby and very short and looked at my brother-in-law and said, "It's days like these when I wish that I wasn't a mother. That I could take all three kids and shove them back up to where they came from and leave them there." My BIL laughed. I didn't. My father-in-law then proceeded to tell me that as you watch all of their past family videos and moveis you see my mother-in-law always is happy and smiling while taking care of the kids. By the way, there are 5 of them and they're all close in age. But anyway, MIL never seemed to lose her cool with the babies and toddlers and stuff all running around and crying. But once they were old enough to become independant beings, she had no clue what to do with them or how to be a mother. Which is entirely true. It's just interesting to heat my FIL tell me that. I told him that I am the opposite. Forgive me if I have lost you, I swear it all comes together right here: I don't have the patience or camlness to deal with three very young children. I start losing it and end up yelling at anyone who dares come near me, eve if they are trying to help. But, on the other hand, I think that I am going to be a GREAT mom once they are older and can communicate with me effectively, and deal with issues around school and friends and stuff. It may have all been different if we didn't start with two at a time, I think. And adding in a third a little more than a year later may not have been a great idea. But I know better for the future. I want more kids. I swear, I do. I never thought that it was possible that I would want more than 2 kids, but I want a caboodle of them. But this time around, we will be waiting at least until the twins are in full-time school before we think at all about conceiving number 4.

To get away from it all for a while, we managed to get rid of all three kids on Saturday night. The twins went to stay with their grandparents for the night, and my mom took the baby for the night. So hubby and I decided to go out to dinner and a movie. It was so nice to just be out without any kids. Especially the baby. She comes with me everywhere except work since I nurse her. So anyway, hubby and I went to TGI Friday's (to eat from the Atkins menu, of course) and then to see Phantom of the Opera. It was so good-- much better than I expected!! And probably the first movie I have seen in almost a year. It satiated my cravings to go see another great musical on stage for a while since we can't really afford it. It was almost exactly like the stage version, but with more detail. Then, we went home, cleaned up the house a bit (well, hubby cleaned while I pumped white gold from my breasts...ha!) and then we went to bed. I slept oh so luxuriously late on Sunday morning. It's probably been 9 months or so since I have been able to sleep in past 7:30 on a weekend. I didn't get up until 10:30! YAY! Then I spent the day cleaning the carpet and rearranging the bedroom. It's ncie to have a nice, clean room again. Then of course, I had to pick up the munchkids and it all went crazy from there. Thank God the girls went down easliy because they were so incredibly tired last night. Now, if only the baby would have let me get more than a couple hourse sleep last night... *sigh*


Friday, January 07, 2005

Can someone please explain to me why it’s acceptable for your boss to belittle and insult you and basically insinuate that you are stupid, simply because they are older and have been here for a long time? Yes, he brings in a lot of money for the company. Who cares? They spend almost as much money hiring and training all of his new assistants as each one quits!!! Once his long-time assistant left and before me they went through 8 assistants. Most of them quit when he forced them into crying at work! In my interview process, I was actually asked if I had ever cried at work and if I could handle difficult personalities (not by him, but by other members of the team and by the hiring manager) so I was prepared. But this is flipping ridiculous!

Oh, not to mention that he is starting to bypass me and go to the other assistant (who doesn’t support him, may I add) to get things done. I have NEVER in my life, and I mean NEVER, had an employer not be happy with my work. And the thing is, if he is unhappy with me for some reason, then he should discuss it with me so I can improve… grrrrr. I have just had it up to HERE with it and am about to go nutty today!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, January 06, 2005

To be, or not to be...

So my intention with this blog is to pull together my experiences raising my kids with information relating to my struggles. I am hoping that it will help me to be a better mother and maybe someone reading it may find useful information, too. Who knows if it will turn out the way I want it to, but I do intend on using it for journaling purposes, too, so I should write here often.

So a little more about me. My name is Melissa. In May of 2002 I was married to my husband and within a few months found out were were expecting a child. Halfway through the pregnancy we found out that we were having two. In April of 2003, Gabriella Elizabeth and Isabella May were born. Then, in November 2003, we conceived another child (thankfully ony one!). Deborah Margaret was born in August of 2004. We have a Pembroke Welsh Corgi and two domestic cats. We live in Minneapolis in a small rambler... too small for all of us, really, but it works, I guess. We tried to sell our place to move into a larger home, but it didn't sell-- the feedback that we heard was that it was too small. Yeah, exactly why we were trying to egt out of there. And now that the baby was born, we don't really ahve the money any more to move. Oh well.

I am an executive assistant for a large financial firm, working in the investment banking area. My husband is a case assistant with a large local law firm, though he will be staying home with the girls beginning in a few weeks. That is scary for me. To know that I will soon be the sole provider for a family of 5. I tried staying home with the girls for a while once and couldn't hack it. But that is a whole other story. And since I make more than R, it doesn't make sense for me to stay home anymore. That, alone, actually makes me breathe a huge sign of relief. I don't want to be a stay at home mom. I used to want to, and then I tried it. R really is getting excited, but I wonder how long it will satisfy him.

R. has been having a mid-life crisis of sorts. You can't really call it a mid-life crisis since he is only 28, but that's as close as I can get to describing it. He hates his career. He has all of these ideas of what he wants to do, but none of them are rational ideas at the moment. They all require a whole lot of time or start up capital, and won't pay anything out for quite a while if at all. We can't afford for him to be out not making money and to have the kids in a daycare. Hell, we can't even afford to have him at home! Life is going to have to chage, soon. In addition to all of that, R wants to run for State Senate in our district. It will take time and a whole lot of donated money to lose. There is no chance for a Republican win in our area... the numbers from the past prove that fully. But he wants to do it anyway. I will never understand why...

Anyway, more about me. I love photography. My dream is to one day have a art/protraiture business all of my own. It will never happen, but a girl has to dream. I am completely addicted to an internet parenting community called Pregnancy.org. The support and information I have gotten from members and friends on those boards is amazing and was probably the only thing that kept me form going completely bonkers to this point. I love to read, but have no time to do it. I love to write, but find that I have no creative energies... so I waste my writing urges on PO and here. I am addicted to reality TV, but have no time to watch TV. I want my kids to have everything that I never had in life. I want to be the perfect parent and raise my kids by the book, yet I am always thankful when I can get them plop down in front of a TV for 30 minutes so I can have a second to go to the bathroom, and they have been eating peanut butter since they were 9 months old. As I get more experienced at this parenting thing, I realize that my real goals are to survive the next 18 years and to raise my children in a house filled with love.

I want that most of all-- for my kids to know that I love them more than anything on this earth and that family is the most important thing there is.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Alive, but strangely different...

I survived it. The first year passed with no mysterious deaths or homicides. I'm still living, and suprisingly, still loving. And my husband and kids are all still living, also. So how does one get to this point in their life? The point where they suddenly realize that their life has taken a turn that they never expected it to take? When they finally realize that they have survived almost two full years as a working mother of twins.

That's where I am now. On a daily basis, at this point, I stop and think about where I am in my life. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a dancer and a singer. In jr. high, I added actor to that list. In high school my dreams became a bit more realistic-- I wanted to be a chemist who starred in Broadway musicals on the side. :) I was an excellent student. Really, too smart for my own good. I was bored when not in honors or AP classes. I LOVED my chemistry classes and my teacher. I hated homework-- it was so, so terribly much as waste of my time! Of course, looking back, I was kind of stupid in the way I approached things, but I was a kid.

Anyway, I graduated near the top of my class. I had a greater then 4.0 GPA. My future was so bright that I needed to wear shades. I went to college to become a chemist. I failed miserably. I had failed to learn the basics of studying and completing homework in high school. Nobody cared how much more brilliant I was than the rest of the population as long as I failed to excel in my classes. I became average. My future dimmed considerably. I changed schools. Tried new majors. Quit school to work and be average. I met my husband and got married. Became an average young woman. Then something extraordinary happened. I conceived a child. And not just ONE child, I conceived TWO children. My life changed and I have never looked back.

That brought me to where I am today. I have been married for a little more than 2.5 years. I have 21 month-old twins, and an almost 5-month-old baby. I work as an assistant at a financial firm. I am constantly broke, and beginning in a couple of weeks, I will be the sole provider for my family. My husband is soon to be a stay at home dad. Life is scary. And wonderful. And stressful and busy and hard and all of those adjectives that typically describe the life of a young, lower middle-class family of 5. And I look forward to sharing that life with you, the anonymous web audience.

So sit back, buckle up, and welcome to my life.